What do you do when you fail?

Think of "failing" as just an opportunity to learn.  But you must learn from the situation so that you will not repeat the same mistake.  Then, just brush it off, get up and try again.  Always think that you can do this, and try harder in another way.  Find a mentor and can help you talk through the situation and plan a better strategy. Once you prove to yourself that you really can overcome the situation then you gain the confident and can achieve anything in the future.

When you fail, which will happen at some point in your career, the most important thing to do is learn from it! Give yourself time to process what happened and what went wrong, then brainstorm ways to mitigate failure in the future. If we treat failure as a data point on what didn’t work, we are one step closer to finding a solution.

In engineering, when we have a product fail, we do a failure analysis, we should do the same thing when we have a personal failure.

So when the time comes that something you are working on doesn’t go right, don’t panic, instead take a step back, evaluate what happened, learn from the mistake, and try again!

I think failure depends on your definition. If you tried something new and it didn’t work – that is not failure. That is exploration or design iteration or learning. There are times that you fail an exam or a course or have a paper rejected. My approach is to learn as much as I can about what went wrong or what I misunderstood and then move on. Thomas Edison once said, “Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” Thomas Edison clearly saw failure as part of everyday life and learning – as part of the pathway to success.

To answer the question directly, when I fail I get frustrated or sad for a bit. Then I think about what I can do better or learn from the experience. Then I take action to fix whatever the challenge was. And, I also try very hard not to let other people define what failure is for me. Everyone’s definition of success is different.

If you try you may fail. If you don't you will never succeed. Failure is a lesson learned to perfect what you are trying to accomplish. Never be afraid to fail.

I had a skating coach when I was 12 (I won't tell you my age but let's say I am closer to the end of my career than the beginning). He taught me a saying that has helped me my entire career.

"I have not yet mastered that particular maneuver (skill in the girl's case), so I must employ greater diligence toward completing my goal."

Find a mentor, coach, or teacher who will help guide, nurture and support you. You will not always succeed and it is vital you know and accept that. It helps to build your character, work ethic, and knowledge. If you are learning, whether failing or succeeding, you are growing. Even at the late stage of my career, I get to learn new things every day. It keeps me focused and challenged. Since no two days are the same, it is always interesting.

Most important - NEVER BE AFRAID TO FAIL

You go girl...you got this.

Initially in my career, and youth, I thought failing was one of the worst things that I could do. We are graded in school and to fail means to not pass! As I moved into my career, I looked at the meaning of the word fail differently. It simply means something did work, or something didn’t go right. But in life, you almost always get another chance.

I love the game of soccer as a learning tool for this. If you get the ball down the field and fail to get it into the opponents goal, you get another chance. It’s not the end of everything. I take that with me throughout life. It’s okay to fail, just be sure to get up and try again. However, before trying again, think about what worked and what did not work in your path. Make your next try different from what you just did. Look at what other people have done in similar situations. Talk to people about your situation. Read. Research. Try smaller activities that might help you glean information. Your next attempt will be just that, your next attempt. If you fail again, you have learned more.

In the event that you do not have another chance, you have at least learned something. If you failed a test, then figure out how you could have studied better, note how the test was presented to see if you could have a better approach, make sure you get enough rest, etc. If you fail on a project, investigate what part failed and research to find a different approach. If you took a shot on goal with a soccer ball and you missed the goal, practice, change your stance, practice in different situations so you will at least be on frame next time.

I fail all the time. I learn, and I try again.

Failure really shouldn’t have a negative connotation. One of my favorite sayings is, "I didn’t fail. I just discovered methods that didn’t work." Now, if this is related to courses, I did fail one course - Statics. I took it again and got a C. I took the next class in order (Strengths of Materials) and the light bulb clicked on. Sometimes you have to keep looking for the light switch in a dark room, but never lose faith that there is one… it may just take a little time to find it.

Mistakes happen all of the time. All of humanity is imperfect. So it's ok if you fail.

The important thing to remember is to be yourself when you fail and what I mean by that is because engineering tends to be a male-dominated field, some females try to conform their behavior to those of males. For instance, some males do not acknowledge their mistakes and they don't apologize for them. However if you feel led to acknowledge your mistake and apologize then do it. It's ok to be sorry for what happened.

Also look to see if there are areas where you can step in and compensate for any mistakes that you made. For example if you make a database error then tell the team that you will own the problem and ensure that it is fixed in a timely manner and provide frequent communication updates.

Lastly, the only way you will get better in your career is if you try. So if you try, you are bound to make mistakes but you will definitely not get far ahead in your career or life without trying. Try new things, build new things, charter new things for the betterment of others.

When you fail you learn. I think this is the most important thing to know when you pursue any career. Failure is normal and people tend to see failure as an awful thing, but in reality failure is just an opportunity to reflect and learn from the actions/decisions you took around a specific task, project, or job. Engineering is a career that will teach you that mistakes are part of the job.

For example, when I first started working in the industry one of my first tasks was to modify a circuit board to replace an important component that went obsolete. Even though I put a lot of effort into the new design and worked hard to have it done perfectly, because as it was my first task I also wanted to show my leaders how good engineer I was. I had to re-design the board 3 times until I got it working as expected. I felt I was failing in my job because every time we got a new prototype board something would fail during testing. However, I realized that for certain designs it is necessary to go through several rounds of testing to make sure the design is robust enough; and sometimes the problems that arise during testing are impossible to predict during the design phase.

Now, it is very important that if something goes wrong with the task you are performing, or if you realize you cannot meet the schedule due to unforeseen issues, you communicate everything to your leaders. Communication is one of the keys to success. You will gain the trust of your leaders if you are transparent with them when problems arise. In this way, they will feel comfortable working with you because they will know that even though things are not going on as expected you will work with them in finding the best solutions.

Also, it is important you know how to explain to your leaders why things are not going as expected. As a leader it always feels good to know that the members of your team are knowledgeable in the area, and that they are actually aware of the “what” and “why” that is causing the issues.

To summarize, don’t be afraid of failure, be afraid of not trying again.

We all fail -- failure is a key part of learning. When you fail, those lessons are permanently etched into your brain. Take one of my (more costly) failures, early in my engineering career.

My facility was installing a new pipeline between two tanks and I was responsible for making sure everything was safe, everyone had approved the change and it was done correctly. We blocked in one line into the tank to complete the change, but because of resource issues, we weren’t able to do it that day. Leaving it overnight was not identified as a risk, but when we came in the next morning, the ambient cooling outside caused the tank to suck in overnight! That was clearly not an intended outcome. But because we’re all human, my manager had a discussion with me and we talked about what could have been done differently and what I learned so that it won’t happen again -- instead of firing me.

I have thought about this incident multiple times since it occurred, which has pushed me to ask more detailed questions, communicate to a wider audience on any changes, and ensure everyone knows when there is a change in plans. When there is a failure, you learn from it and keep moving forward, taking with you those tidbits of information to continue growing and learning.

Failure can be heart-wrenching and leave you feeling dejected and questioning your abilities. However, I have found that failing at something is very useful especially when trying to identify the areas where you want to improve.

You first need to allow yourself to be human and feel sad about the failure, but you cannot let the sadness prevent you from learning from the experience and trying again. I remind myself that every time I fail, I have an opportunity to grow as an individual, and I know that as long as I learn from the experience then I am stronger and better than I was before, and it is less likely I will fail at that particular task again.

The most important thing to remember is that failing is a very important part of learning. First accept you have failed and that it is okay (a learning opportunity). Then you should review honestly what happened, what you did or did not do and why it failed. Think about what might have been a better approach and why. If you feel you can’t do all of this alone, reach out to someone you trust who could be a sounding board and provide some helpful feedback.

Most of all, NEVER ignore or avoid facing and evaluating your mistakes. They are a very important part of becoming better at whatever it is you are doing. Later in my career, I had a list of questions I would always ask myself or those working for me about a project. That standard list was completely created by all the mistakes/failures I had experienced or witnessed others experience. That kept us from repeating it.

When I fail, I usually allow myself a little personal pity party. Depending on how significantly I feel the failure derailed me from my goals, the party might be as simple as a Friday night watching movies, eating ice cream, and generally boycotting adulthood.

Then, the next day, I get back on track. Sometimes the scale of my failure might merit a bigger party, more akin to a wedding or a wake, potentially including handcrafted invitations to those in my life to witness the reorganization of my hopes and dreams. This can look differently for everyone.

At one point in my life when things didn't go my way (on a big scale) I let this party rage on for way too long. Months, if I am being honest. I don't recommend that. If you find yourself there, it is really best to act like your mom when you were in high school and she came home from vacation to a house party. Turn out the lights, the party is over. Kick all the sadness out. Pick yourself up and go sit under a tree in the woods with a notebook and make a new 5 year plan, then manifest the heck out of those goals. Don't let one failure, no matter how big or small, derail you from your life. Get up and get back on the tracks, even if it means you head to a new station.

First and foremost, acknowledge it and allow yourself to learn from it. I often say, the hardest things are the moments when we can learn the most. Take the time to understand who you need to talk to, in order to inform or to debrief and learn from. Face it head on! If there is an opportunity to correct your failure, do it. Then rewrite the script by thinking of what the result would if you had a chance for a redo. This will help you to avoid a similar failure in the future. In the end, move on and don’t linger in embarrassment or shame. We all make mistakes and we all fail. The difference is how you handle it.

As an engineer its always best to fail fast, learn from your mistakes and move on. All the best inventions came from early failures.

I try to control myself emotionally in order to do a root cause analysis. I breathe deeply to calm down and not to be overrun by negative thoughts. Sometimes I need to be alone to understand what happened or sometimes I feel better sharing my thoughts with a friend. I try to think about failure as a learned lesson, as the beginning of a new iteration to success. Then, I analyze whether this is a matter of a new try next time or whether that result is an indicator to start something new in a different way.

When I fail I do a couple of things:

1. Remind myself this is not the worst thing, it’s an opportunity to learn,
2. Examine what caused the failure,
3. Do what I can to set things right
4. Above all, don’t let it get me down and just keep on moving to the next thing

Failure is not necessarily a bad thing, and everyone experiences it time and again. You just don’t let failure define you or your career, realize new things come along and you will have more opportunities to succeed and ultimately will succeed.

Failing is a very natural event. We don’t succeed in every aspect of life, we don’t succeed in all small things in life. For example, convincing your parents about something or achieving every small thing you set your eyes on in day to day life. But that doesn’t stop us from anything…we either continue our attempts or change focus to something else. This is the basic principle which can be applied here also. If you fail…nothing happens…you can study a bit harder and give the exam on the next schedule. Now that you would have gauged how much study is required so you don’t fail, you can devote that much more time to study. People can fail due to many reasons – not enough studies, lack/ shortfall in coaching, mentoring required etc. Please find your cause and try to rectify the same. So when you fail, take it in your stride…get up and get going…set your eyes on success…imagine yourself passing next time and you can make it!

"What happens next?" – Actually nothing. As you can give the exam next time and pass with enough effort. If this is a 4 year course, I have seen many people who have completed this course in extra time….say 5 years. Once you have got some work experience, your work will speak and this failure becomes history since subsequent opportunities are based on your work experience. I know a person who took extra time to complete her engineering degree and was VP of a multinational company for many years. And know many more who are successful in spite of taking longer to complete the degree.

"How do you handle it?" – Like we handle any other failure. Find the means to overcome it and half the work is done.

You only fail when you stop trying. When I fail, I take the time to reassess my goals and strategies to get there. I ask myself "Is this the right goal? Does my strategy work? How about the timeline?" From there, I keep going!

Analyze what went wrong, what I could have done differently, and whether I could do better the next time to be successful. If I don’t think I can be successful the next time then it’s time to head in a different direction for that process.