How can I become an engineer but stay who I am?

I have always wanted to become an engineer but I am a artist. I recently have been trying to do more vibrant colors but can't. They just hurt my eyes and make me sad. I'm also technically emo, as my parents say. I've always tried making stuff like an engineer and failed. This has been a big question of mine, and I also needed to say it so an engineer would answer it. Another thing that is weird about me is I have a speech impediment. So I think that I can't do engineering because of it.