How should I deal with being teased for liking engineering?

Wow, you sound like you would make an awesome engineer! Middle school or elementary school is hard for everyone. It will get a lot easier in high school and college where you can meet like-minded classmates or join clubs where people also enjoy engineering and socializing. I certainly did! Also remember, that your friends now are just a small group of the many many friends you will make in the future (and you might make better friends after a few years) ! 

My number one advice is to believe in yourself and accept and embrace who you are! Keep looking for opportunities to learn more about engineering. Don't let others bring you down - you'll regret it if you don't stay true to yourself.

There's different ways to deal with teasing depending on your personality. By accepting yourself, you can either shrug it off, or say "yeah so what?" or "why do you care?" 

Sometimes turning the teasing around in a friendly way can help: "at least I know what I want to do with my life. Do you? :)" or "I'm beautiful AND smart. Do you have a problem with that? ;) " Or another good thing is to just ask them to explain themselves: "why is it weird if I'm a girl and I like engineering?" Asking questions back to someone who teased me has helped me in the past. Or just laugh and say "whatever"  when they tease you - laughing back is very effective. 

I used to be teased in middle school because I'd bring hot lunches from home that didn't look like my friend's lunches. My mom taught me to educate others because sometimes, people just don't know. So the next time I got teased, I would explain what the food is, how it's cooked, and offer some to my friends. The ones brave enough to try it almost always liked it and then stopped teasing me. Instead, they'd ask for some the next time we sat at lunch! :) 

Maybe you can educate your friends about why being an engineer is cool. If they're not ready to listen, then telling them you don't like the teasing is another good option. Another awesome engineer said on this chat to say something like, "let's talk about what we have in common" which is great. Or ask them about something they like "so how's [drama/shopping/writing] going?" or whatever. This way, you can steer the conversation away from you and towards something more positive.

Hope some of these tips help!

Hi there! I’ve got something to tell you: you are awesome, so don’t change that! You have the mind of an engineer, and you should know that there are a lot more people out there that are just like you! Going through school can be challenging in itself but the teasing is just not cool. Not cool at all. Especially friends! Friends are supposed to be supportive! I know it’s hard with the teasing, but there is nothing wrong with being curious, loving school, or being awesome. So, keep on being you. I was teased in school for being a little different (and having a ridiculously long last name), but it just made me stronger. I was never mean to the kids that teased me, but it stopped over time when we all made friends with interests that aligned more closely. If there are STEM clubs, or even Girl Scouts, try to join them as you will most likely find people that have similar interests. But keep on being you and don’t let others get you down!

Hold your head up high and do what you want to do. Do not be ashamed. I used to share my struggles about being different with my college roommate. She gave me the best advice and I still remember it today. "Don't worry about others laughing at you, you'll be laughing all the way to the bank". That advice made me stronger, and, it turned out to be true. The ones who were teasing me proved to be far less successful in their lives compared to mine. Ha, ha - right?

Historically, girls were not the “tinkering” type – notice the toys that were traditionally made for girls. However, that tide has been turning for a few years now and notice how there are now girl-specific LEGOs and Barbies…showing young ladies that it’s okay to “think out of the box” and to challenge others with the talents we have to share. Maybe instead of trying to “escape” the teasing, it might make more sense to learn to accept/like the comments by turning them around in our own favor! I can tell you, society has been intrigued by women engineers, scientists, doctors, etc. for decades. In a world where women were supposed to take on other roles in society, it was stunning and shocking to some to learn that women could do the same work and sometimes better than a male counterpart, and that it was okay! I don’t remember being teased so much as folks being more surprised by my interest in engineering and science. In fact, after folks understood that I liked it, knew enough about it and enjoyed sharing what I knew, they too took an interest in my success in the field.

I always loved school, just loved it! I have always enjoyed learning, didn’t matter what, just learning something new has always been fun to me, even now! I believe you just need a network of peers with similar interests to show you that you are not different for having these interests, but simply following your calling. Not everyone understands math, science, engineering concepts…you’re one of those who does and you should embrace that interest! Teasing is often associated with someone’s own desire/envy of a particular talent/asset. I believe you will find as you continue to learn, grow, experiment in the STEM fields, that your friends will love hearing what you know especially as you stay true to yourself and continue to be a solid friend to them and sharing common interests outside of STEM (games, shopping, movies, sports, – whatever it is that you share an interest with them). Do you need to expect this to continue? Somewhat, but like I mentioned, I never took it so much as teasing as maybe an interest of their own to learn more but they didn’t quite know how or have the drive to seek it out.

Everyone can benefit and learn something from the STEM world…and sometimes it takes someone like us (you, me, engineers, scientists, mathematicians, etc.) to share with them something from our world and allow them to share with us something from their world (whatever their interest may be) – so we all continue to learn, accept and work together for continued growth.

Stay confident in your interests. Keep learning and I’d love to hear your success story as you write it! Know that you have a whole team of women engineers cheering for your success – me especially!

It sounds like you would enjoy engineering by your description of your likes and strengths. My advice to you is to be yourself and don’t let negative comments deter or change you. If you get teased for liking building or engineering, simply shrug, as if “what’s the big deal” or “so what, who cares.” Not everyone is going to like the same things or be good at the same things. I guarantee the people that are teasing you have interests that you don’t find as appealing as they do. It’s no different for you. Everyone is unique in your way. Follow your heart and dreams and do what you enjoy.

It sounds like you are a highly capable person and that can be intimidating to people. They may actually be a little jealous and teasing you makes them feel better about themselves. I encourage you to be confident in your choices. You could consider mentioning a few of the actual jobs you’d like to have and be ready to talk about why you feel it would be an exciting future. Engineering used to have a reputation of being “nerdy.” In my opinion, that has changed because engineers are the people who design computers, iPhones, Teslas, and many very “cool” modern conveniences. Think of the number of times in a day you interface with something that an engineer designed!! It’s pretty exciting that you have the capability and the desire to be a part of that. I think that if you try not to let it bother you and respond with confidence, it will be more tolerable for you and may become less frequent. Good luck!

If your so-called friends are going to tease you for being smart and passionate about something, maybe they aren’t really your friends. I would have a conversation with them about how it hurts your feelings, because they might just think they’re joking around and not really know how it affects you. You can say something like, “You know, I would rather not talk about school, let's focus on the stuff we do have in common.” Also, the more you show them that it affects you, the more they are likely to do it. If you start to ignore them, they might just stop.

Additionally, I’m sure there are other students interested in engineering too, and it might be fun to make some new friends! Is there a robotics club or other club you can join to learn those shared interests?

My 15 year-old daughter sort of teases me about my engineering work, which is unfortunate for her. She is falling prey to a strong social bias that leaves so many girls heading into non-technical majors with regularly less interesting, less fulfilling, and less remunerative career paths ahead. My daughter is doing quite well in physics now, and has found that she is avoiding being teased about not understanding physics, which is a big relief to her. So it seems many kids will find a way to tease their peers, regardless of what they do.

I also was the only engineering student in my college sorority for several years, so I received some teasing about the classes I was taking. In general and in the long term, I find that our peers and most others admire those who do well in difficult subjects. Thanks to an engineering focus in college, I had far more options to do far more good in this world that most of my peers. In the end, I think most people really envy the opportunities I have had, and really wish they had such doors open to them, or they had chosen such doors.

The women I teach now in my engineering classes come from all social backgrounds. They have had all sorts of friend groups and have probably won many popularity contests. They found the confidence to pursue a challenging major that may not be what any of their best friends in high school chose. And that is wonderful for our society. Our world needs variety in skills sets, and a willingness to be challenged and to contribute. It would be a serious loss for everyone to have girls not pursue engineering majors. You’re doing your peers and our communities a favor by sticking with this extraordinary discipline.

I think many kids who are into math and science get teased about it – it happened to me too. Embrace your inner nerd and own it. When kids commented to me or I saw them teasing others, I would fire back with the Bill Gates quote: "Be nice to the nerds, they'll probably be your boss one day." It does get easier though, and by the time you get to college, you're all nerds and you'll have found your people.