Do you ever feel like giving up?

I believe it’s tough to be a girl engineer in the male dominant industry and with this, you need to prove more as compared to males. Many times I felt I should quit the job and search for an easier one, but why lose hope when you are not wrong anywhere and need extra effort to be on the top. We girls are supposed to make the perfect work life balance, from managing home to working profession. At the end, I am happy that my efforts are not going in vain, sooner or later, I get recognized for my work and that’s what matters most.

Work has never been hard technically. Engineering has quite simply prepared me for what is now called lifelong learning. What has been the trigger to my periodic thoughts of leaving is handling politics, negative comments, the very tiresome aspects of getting people (men and women) to understand strength and capability in me does not mean a loss for them. That is common to all fields where women have lower numbers or lack of power/leadership. The more one realizes is that we cannot take ownership of other people’s bad behavior, the better it is. That has taken YEARS for me to develop. But the motivator to remain is the comfort I now feel with how darned good I am at what I do. This insight has happened from positive feedback from men and women. So anytime you feel down, find a way to uplift someone else, provide an intentional acknowledgement of their capabilities because in engineering or in any profession, that could be what keeps them in their profession.

Absolutely. This path is a difficult one to walk. There have been many times, like after I didn't pass the F.E. on the first try, after the birth of each of my four children, and now, when feeling overwhelmed by having to work from home while homeschooling and taking care of littles kids during a pandemic, that I have thought long and hard about everything from full-time stay-at-home status, to part-time work. But each time, so far, I have made it through those times and kept climbing. It has taken some serious effort to refocus on my goals and remember that in the long run, this path is what I believe is best for my family. But it is hard. When I get really down about it, I re-listen to some of my favorite motivational books, like Sheryl Sandberg's "Lean In,” Rachel Hollis' "Girl, Wash Your Face," and Ivanka Trumps "Women Who Work,” and I remember I am on a mission, and I am going to make it.

People would have different responses to this question...when the works get hard, do they quit? I can only answer for my part. As an engineer for more than 40 years, there were of course very interesting projects, ordinary ones, and difficult ones. The difficulty was either technical, or political. In either case, I always found this stimulating, the idea of finding solutions, either technical or political. The thought of giving up or of finding an easier job never occurred to me. The interesting part about being an engineer is to design solutions to problems, no matter how benign or difficult they are.

It is possible that some people would react differently to my attitude. But there was a motto when I was in engineering school: the difficult we do immediately, the impossible takes just a little longer. This may sound a little bit arrogant, but it is meant only to encourage engineers to think positively about challenges we face during our work life.

Absolutely! I think everyone, no matter your job, thinks occasionally about giving up or wishing for another job. There have been times when I question if I made the right career choice, decision on firm, decisions on my career track, location of where I’m living, did I do the right thing for my family, etc, etc, etc. The list goes on and on for what you may question about your career choices.

My advice:

• Acknowledge there are going to be good days and bad days in your career. There are going to be days where it seems like everything you touch gets screwed up or that you are no good at your job. Just because you had a bad day should never equate to giving up.
• If you are really lost and need to improve your job performance, talk with your supervisor and figure out an action plan to improve. Break down your improvement goals into small tasks and work hard to achieve them. Don’t expect to improve overnight, a career is a long term journey, nothing happens quickly.
• Figure out what you like and dislike about your job. And yes, there will always be dislikes, that is why it’s called WORK, not PLAY. You will need a balance of tasks that you enjoy and don’t enjoy.
• If you ever really consider changing jobs, stop and reconsider why you are thinking of the change. The grass is not always greener on the other side. Sometimes the hours are not worth the extra pay. I have heard my boss, our company’s CEO, repeatedly say that he took a pay cut to come to our company and it was the best decision he ever made. Really think about the entire picture before you make a change.

Fortunately, I don’t ever wish I had a different job! I can’t imagine anything more intellectually liberating and stimulating than being a professor in transportation engineering at UT Austin. But it would be wonderful to have more administrative and grading support. Being an engineering professor is a bit like running a small business at most campuses, because we have to find “jobs”/research projects to support almost all our graduate students (who cost about $60,000 per year, including overhead, fringe benefits, and tuition paid for). And we have to carefully watch budget expenditures, sign legal documents, and other details that one would not normally associate with being a professor.

As my colleagues and I approach the possibility of retirement, I often find myself asking them this question while trying to solve a particularly difficult problem “Are you really ready for your easy job, now?” I ask it rhetorically, as fixing things is one of the basic tenets of engineering as a career.

We typically aren’t doing things simply for the purpose of gathering information. That is more indicative of science as a career. As engineers, we, almost as a necessity, are trying to make something, to fix something, either of which will, immediately or ultimately, help people. In this way, I see engineering as more of a calling, or vocation. As such, it’s hard for me to imagine stopping. Perhaps we don’t do a very good job of framing the career this way.

When it gets really hard, who else is better than us to take it on? Each one of these steep challenges is potentially a career-defining opportunity. Let’s go do it!

Absolutely! I’ve felt that way many times! The first time was in college and I started looking at alternative majors. But when I researched the jobs I’d get, I realized that engineering jobs sounded the best to me. I chose to continue for two reasons: 1. I liked Engineering even if I wasn’t always “good” at it, and 2. I liked that it would help me reach my end goal: make products that improve people’s health, and help them live longer and better lives.

Even now, what eventually keeps me going when my job is difficult, is remembering my purpose and why I do what I do. Or I remember what I’m hoping to learn from my job and that goal gives me the energy to put in effort again the next day. Sometimes, a conversation with coworkers or a good meeting refreshes me and reminds me why I love my company, my team, my work, or my industry (usually not all at once!) And that keeps me going.

A bad class, Professor, or manager doesn’t mean you should give up. It just means you should work through it or find an alternative team or professor. I’m in my 20s and I’m not convinced I’ll still be a technical engineer or even in engineering at the age of 50. It’s good to think about and try other paths, if you’re curious! Just don’t use it as an excuse to give up when something is hard!

Yes! Everybody does at some point or another. Challenges lead to accomplishments though, and I guarantee you’ll love that feeling once you’re on the other side of difficulty. For me personally, my difficulties come from people. That’s when I wish I could do something easier and artistic. Then I recognize the importance of my job and that I grow everyday as a professional, person, and leader as a result of what I do.

Yes, absolutely. Engineering is no easy feat and it can feel like progress is miles away. During my early career, I was lucky to have a mentor tell me something that I repeat to myself when I feel like giving up. She told me, “Research is designed to fail.” And it’s true! We would never make discoveries or progress without failure, but that does indeed make our jobs feel that much harder. It’s important never to lose sight of why we became engineers. In my case, as a biomedical engineer, I always try to remember why I’m doing my job: To help heal those in need. Never lose sight of your motivations. I find it helpful to be open with my peers and colleagues about why things feel challenging, and often I find everyone feels the same but our patients need us, so we persevere.

When you're an analytical thinker, it's easy to be consumed with "what ifs" when there's a big challenge in front of you. Each new role or responsibility has a transition time that's really difficult, but new challenges bring new growth. Every once in a while I think, "This is really hard, maybe I should have stayed where I was comfortable and an expert in xyz." But immediately I realize that the reason I took on that challenge was because I was unhappy being stagnant, and ready to grow and learn something new, and that staying where I was wouldn't have been sustainable in the long run. You have all the talent and skills you need to do amazing things – don't settle for anything less!

I guess human nature initially makes you feel like quitting, but my love of engineering keeps me focussed on my goals and helps me overcome that urge to give up. At those times, I engross myself fully in the tasks at hand, and that enjoyment from doing what I love surpasses the negative feelings in the end.

I think one would not be human if one never had feelings of doubt or frustration. There were times in my career where I felt like giving up. When that feeling comes, I usually disengage for a bit – sometimes hours, sometimes a day, and sometimes longer. It is usually helpful to take a mental (and emotional) break from whatever is bothering you. After that break, my mind is more clear, my emotions less intense and I can look at things more objectively and make a better decision.

Work typically goes in cycles. Some assignments are easy, some are difficult. The difficult ones are an opportunity to learn something new – either about the job or about yourself. If it is really bad, a person can start looking for a different job that is more fulfilling and more aligned with what you want to do. Most engineers change jobs several times in their careers as they learn what they like to do and what they are good at. So it is normal. But don't give up – keep going until you figure out what you want to do and then do it!

All the time!!!

But if I give up I give up on myself, what I am working for and towards!  

One step at a time. . . front, back, side to side.  Always move, learn from your mistake, don't be afraid to ask for HELP!  

Also offer HELP!!

Yes, I do feel that way sometimes. When I get overwhelmed I try to put things into perspective. First, I think about past successes or failures and acknowledge that everything turned out better than I had anticipated. Second, I look around me and think about all of the other people in their jobs and remember they are human too and have struggles. Third, I remind myself that I wanted this job/career and this is part of the job. If was easy then I wouldn’t feel challenged and wouldn’t like it. Last, I consider that my management team has confidence in me and wants me to succeed and they will help me. We have shared goals and if I succeed they succeed. It’s okay to ask for help.

It’s very natural to experience a moment in time when you think you just can’t get there. We all have those moments. Most of the time, this comes when you are facing a challenging problem or situation. What I have learned in times like this, is that it is necessary to take a break, step back, and get perspective. These actions help me remember that I love a job that enables me to solve real problems for real people. I am not alone…I have a network of colleagues and friends who are there to help and I don’t have to solve every challenge on my own. I remember that it is the experiences I gain working through tough challenges that enables me to grow and take on even bigger challenges.

I recommend that when faced with this pivotal moment, you build in a waiting period. Give yourself time to think it through before making major changes. You may find that time gives you a broader perspective. If you do find after a waiting period that you still are not happy in your situation, then you should consider what other areas you are passionate about.