Will I fit in as a "girly girl" in engineering?

This is such a great question; it hit home on a subject that I personally have struggled with for many years – if it was “ok” to be both girly and an engineer! The short answer is, it is 100% ok to be both. Embrace your differences!

My personal story is that I tried very hard to fit in and be “one of the guys” and for the last two years of my college education and the first few years of my career. During that period, I did give up on being a “girly girl”. I dressed much more like a tomboy. I wore makeup and did my hair, but I didn’t wear pink and I avoided dresses nearly all of the time. At this time, I did not have a lot of confidence in myself.  

Today, I’ve learned to embrace being a “girly girl” especially on the days where I need that little bit of a confidence boost, but it wasn’t easy for me to break out of my shell and it took building a fair amount of self-confidence over many years and worrying less about what other’s thought. 

As females, we will inherently always worry more about what other people think. Particularly in a career that is very male dominated, I chose to hide parts of myself to fit in as I was becoming an engineer. 
Also, I did not have other female engineering role models in my life that I saw who were girly and successful and so I did know that it would be ok in this industry and in my field; that was until I just didn’t care anymore, which in my opinion comes more with age than anything else.

Lacking a role model, it took me many years to embrace being both girly and an engineer and feeling confident that those two things can coexist. The other fact of the matter is, since there are so few other female engineers, it is highly likely that in your work circle, there won’t be anyone else to complement you on your looks – especially if you are dressing the way you do in order to generate attention or spark a conversation. Most male engineers will not notice when you cut your hair, when you curl your hair, when you get new glasses, when you wear a stylish and well-planned outfit, etc. You have to dress girly for you and you only, because you won’t likely get any compliments from anyone at work that you might be seeking. I WISH people would take notice and compliment me when I look particularly put together, but alas, that is still a pipe dream. Someday when there are more female engineers, then it might become reality. 

In closing, I will say, it is certainly less common to be a “girly girl” and an engineer; this is still the unfortunate reality – that if you are both, you will stand out and be a “unicorn”. Today, I can say confidently, that I am proud to be a unicorn.

I hope you, who are reading this, may be enlightened by my experiences that I have shared. I want to remind you that you can be whoever you want to be and to try your hardest to not hide those parts of yourself in order to fit in.  

Hi! Let me just start by saying you are my favorite person for knowing exactly who you are and being very cognizant of the world around you. I see parts of myself in you in that I too like art as well science. I love to cook and go mural hunting. I make resin serving trays using circuit boards salvaged from an old printer I dismantled. I have way too many nerdy math t-shirts. I "upcycle" old furniture and have enough art supplies to open my own store. You will rarely find me without my red lipstick and I wear heels whenever I want (my glittery Jimmy Choo's are my favorite)!

And I am a Principal Engineer with two Masters degrees (Electrical Engineering [ULCA] and Data Science[UC Berkeley]). I'm not listing off these credentials to brag. But merely to show you that you don't need to change who you are to achieve success, however it is that you measure it. It is true that being a woman in engineering/STEM can feel isolating, especially since there are still far fewer of us than we'd like.

I admit, in my early days, I often found myself toning down and diminishing myself to be one of the guys/to be taken seriously and gosh, what a mistake that was. Over time, I realized that you can and should be judged on the merit of your work. Anyone can learn anything, some things may take longer to master than others but it is all achievable. I'm not saying you still won't have to fight for that acceptance every so often and that there won't still be a few people who will still be biased against you, regardless of what you or your unique personality have to offer. You will also find that you have allies in academia and the professional world, both men and women. Surround yourself with those kinds of people and build the best version of yourself that you can.

One of the best ways to break these biases and prejudices around us is for YOU to be a champion for change. In doing so, you can also help pave the way for others and help create an environment where anyone, woman or man is free to express themselves truthfully. Don't forget to pay it forward :)

I can understand where you are coming from, historically, an engineer would not have been the first guess of occupation for a "girly girl". But times are changing. You will fit in because you will shape the future perception for those that follow you. At least, that is how it has felt for me over the last 12 years in industry. My first manager at a mega engineering firm was a woman who regularly wore dresses to the office. Today, 3/4 my entire engineering team is made of women. Women who like to dress nicely. I would encourage you to jump in and join us in changing the narrative, if you want proof that it is already happening, check out #ILookLikeAnEngineer on social media.

There are lots of stereotypes about engineers, but just as with most stereotypes, they provide a limited vision of the group of people to which they apply. There are as many different kinds of engineers as there are chefs, doctors, and teachers. It’s probably true that there aren’t as many “girly” engineers as there are other types, but it’s about time there were more, right? I mean years ago, there weren’t many girls in engineering and now look! Blaze your own trail and follow your passion if it’s something you enjoy!

I would say you be you! I'm what could be considered a "girly girl" I love fashion and makeup but equally love math and science. I got my masters in Electrical Engineering but at the same time took cooking classes because I love cooking. While pursuing my bachelor's I continued my arts on the side. I am an artist and love painting abstracts. I love star wars, Harry Potter, and Marvel yet love chick flicks and romantic novels. There is no prescribed formula for what an engineer looks like! I'm a mother to my 11 year old daughter who is a ballerina. I produce their ballets because I love performing arts. I'm a Vice President for a large engineering firm but at the same time on the executive boards for non-profit organizations - American Council of Engineering Companies and Metropolitan Ballet Academy & Theater. Remember, people love to have check-lists and boxes for all. If you are an engineer, you won't like to cook, won't have time for arts, don't like fashion, won't be a good spouse/mom but that is not at all true - not for me, at least! You can be everything you want to be and more!

There was a quote that I read once that really resonated with me, about having brains or beauty and it ended with "I'll take them both". What you like to wear has no relation to what you like to do. You should not worry about fitting in with others, just be who you feel comfortable with being. If it helps, I am an engineer and I am also a very girly girl. In college I would wear short skirts, sneakers with heels, crop tops etc. In my first job I was the only woman wearing high heels everyday! That only made me feel good, even if I stood out, because I was expressing myself as I wanted.

Math and fashion are not mutually exclusive. Remember also that if you are different than most, that only makes you more special.

Best of luck in pursuing your interests!

The answer is yes! I’m a girly girl and proud of it. I like to dress nicely, do my hair and makeup, workout, and look professional. Do not feel strange! Be proud of who you are. I know I surprise people with the fact that I’m an IT Director who is trained in systems, databases, and web development. I also manage a team of all men. I get a kick out of surprising people. Own who you are and share it with others.

YES! You fit in, absolutely YES! While I do not pour over fashion magazines, I like to believe I wear currently-fashionable clothing, fun shoes, and I definitely fix my hair and put on make-up EVERY day for work (I know many women engineers who do the same)! Just one example: take a look at the women engineers at General Motors, recently featured with their Sorority Sisters – all glamor, poise, and SMART! And just like any group of people, profession, or area, there are those at both ends of the spectrum. My niece (an engineer) is more “tomboy” and comfortable with that style of clothing, while I still get my nails done regularly and full make-up and jewelry! So, finish up that education and join us in the ranks of stylish women engineers. We’re rootin’ for your success!

This is a great question because I think we stereotype what an engineer and even more what a female engineer looks like. I myself care much more about comfort than style but I do like to spend time on my hair. As a mining engineer I enjoy the fact that I often have to wear a uniform so I don't have to think about the fashion at work. Although, I do remember being on site and because of the uniform, I actually became more girly, picking out earrings and nail polish to wear as a way to express myself since I couldn't through my clothes.

However, I know several other engineers and geologists who love fashion and brands and on our days off or at professional events will wear very nice clothes. One of my friends says she likes that engineers get paid well so she can afford the nice brands that she enjoys. I can think of a female engineer that wears the same set of jeans and button up shirt with tennis shoes and her hair is always in a ponytail, in contrast to my other friend and colleague who wears brand names and always looks quite polished. They are both well respected in our workplace because they are competent engineers and nice to work with.

In engineering, I think your work speaks for itself and if you do a good job people will focus on that, not on what you wear. I remember telling someone in another industry that I worked on an all female team and she thought that sounded awful, imagining how caddy it could be. I think engineering is unique and we are all so excited to solve the problem or make something work that we don't get as caught up in unnecessary drama. At least that has been my experience, it may be different for others. In the end, it doesn't matter how girly or tomboy you are as long as your work is good.

You are entering engineering at a great time! Not only are there more and more 'girly girls' in engineering these days, I would say everyone is feeling more comfortable simply being themselves. I was in Pi Beta Phi Sorority when I was going through my undergraduate, so I wore dresses weekly. I also wore sweats, shorts, jeans and bows. I did notice that the standard engineering colors were tan, navy blue, and black, lol, and probably haven't varied too far from that these days. I just used this observation to entertain myself, and would intentionally pick out clothing with bright colors. Just be yourself, and it will be great.

On a similar vein, we had a new female engineer join the company I currently work for, and she was put in an office with another male engineer (sharing offices is common as a new engineer). He had been there for years and maybe had a couple engineering tables or equipment pictures taped to the wall. When she moved in, she brought matching, colorful pencil, pen, and notepad holders, hung cute decorations on the wall, and even added some fun decorations to the door. It was like yin and yang when you walked into the office. With time, HE started adding things to the walls and front door. She even made sure to share some things with him too. When I visit that floor, I always call her the only fun engineer on the floor. So again, be yourself and have fun with life.

Your identity is not defined by your career choice. How you dress, wear your hair or make-up doesn’t define who you are. Your brain and critical thinking capability is not hard-wired to your personality and love for fashion. I, like you, love the latest fashion trends and have always worn what I wanted in the workplace. Sometimes you have to dress for the type of job you’re doing such as working in the manufacturing plant and being required to wear coveralls and steel toed shoes. In these cases, you can still show your personality with accessories as long as they are allowed.

We know there is a correlation between math and music – I have a theory that there is a correlation between innovation and creativity. You can have both in your life and we need more innovation and creativity to drive the customer experience in our products.

Being yourself is one of the best things you can do in the industry. I am a very feminine engineer and am comfortable in my own skin. Over time, you'll learn how to channel your passions with fashion and make-up in a professional and tailored look, which can come across as very put together in meetings and when speaking with clients.

Engineering is a very big field and how male-dominated it is depends on the field and you can look into what the male to female ratios are at the schools you are looking at for different majors if you are worried. That being said, don't shy away just because you don't exactly fit the mold! It's great to have diverse interests, you will be able to bring a unique perspective to the problems you will have to solve. I agree that the portrayal of female engineers in the media can be quite narrow, but there are women out there breaking those stereotypes. For example, Xyla Foxlin, mechatronics engineer and Miss America contestant, or Emily Calandrelli, aerospace engineer turned science TV host. Both have a big social media presence you can follow!

Yes, you can be a girly girl and still be an engineer and still fit in. Growing up, I liked dolls and as an adult, I love to scrapbook and I love clothes. All of these are girly things and I've still had a successful engineering career for the past 35 years. You don't have to be a tomboy to be an engineer. As we, as a society, embrace all forms of diversity, being a girly girl that's an engineer and being a tomboy that's an engineer are equally needed and appreciated.

Girls come in all shapes, sizes, and interests and so do all engineers. Engineers are coming from many different paths nowadays, increasing diversity in culture, hobbies, looks, and more. I myself am into fashion, street fashion, and I like to bring that to the office in a way that expresses myself but also stick with the casual attire of the office. Expressing yourself through fashion should not hinder you from fitting into the office. Everyone has their own sense of style and their own way of expressing themselves, especially with a newer generation taking over as a majority of the workforce.

I definitely think “girly girls” fit in perfectly in engineering! I also love clothes, makeup, yoga, decorating, and other very “girly” things. During my progression in engineering, I have even been told that I’m too feminine. I didn’t appreciate this comment from a senior leader, so I asked him to describe what he thought was prohibitive and to give me feedback after each meeting to tell me how I could improve. After several meetings, he didn’t have any examples of behaviors I should change. I think I helped to break his bias on feminine behaviors! After a while, he just told me that the comment wasn’t warranted. Engineering depends on competence in engineering and it is very good to have diverse candidates on teams. The other females that I work with share lipstick colors, hair coloring tips, and clothing favorites. I love the camaraderie we have on “girly” topics.

You will fit in as a “girly girl” in engineering. Be comfortable with who you are or be yourself. Confidence is a must for gals going into engineering.

I will say that while I was in engineering school, I didn’t dress up too much because I was going to class which wasn’t a very social time for me until my junior and senior years. I enjoyed my social time with my study buddies because we took all of our classes together and we supported each other. I also didn’t have too much extra money for fashionable clothes.

When I started my career, I wanted to have beautiful clothes for work. And I have the money to buy fashionable outfits. I’m a bit of a “clothes hog” and I enjoy looking professional. I’m a Native American engineer so I want to wear clothes that reflect my culture.

What a great question! The answer is that engineers come in all types, shapes, and sizes, and with different interests, talents, and goals. The image of scientist or engineer as nerd – think Big Bang Theory – is not the way that all engineers are. For example, a quick scan of the internet identified 6 models/actresses who studied science and/or engineering and ALL of them are definitely “girly” girls. The important thing is you like science and engineering – not what you look like or what you like to do. Think Abby Sciuto on NCIS. Not what one first thinks of as a scientist, but there she is! In the meantime, look up Hedy Lamarr - a famous actress who also has a patent for a “Secret Communication System"!

Fitting in isn't about the clothes you wear or the way you look. Granted there are a lot of stereotypes out there, but society is breaking those rules everyday now. So when you say, "I am a girly-girl", does it just mean make-up, clothes and aesthetic things? Or does it mean, you want to do all the think tank stuff and not get your hands dirty? Because in engineering sometimes you have to roll up your sleeves and get in the middle of a project to actually make progress.

Being a girly-girl may even put you in some other human resources places that you don't want to be in. I want to say the industry has changed over the past 20 years, but it is still a male dominated environment. Wearing dresses and make-up is great, but don't let it distract from your true calling to be an engineer. Make sure your counterparts respect your opinion and listen to your ideas and just don't dismiss you as a quota filler. Women have to still put in the extra work to gain the respect of their managers and their peers.

Whatever engineering field you are in, make sure you always carry a change of clothes with you. When I first started in telecommunications and in a management position. I loved to come to work in the latest fashions and high heels. (I still do now and again). The men were avoiding taking me on ride-alongs and in the field, when I finally asked point blank. The answer was, you can't exactly walk a mile in those heels and sometimes we have to go to new construction sites. My reply was, I have jeans and boots in my cube. That being said, I was caught off guard on one event. As I had flats, I decided to go out. Had to go into a vault, then was the awkward moment of knowing I had to be the first into the hole and the last out of the hole. So keep in mind your environment and always be prepared.

Yet I digress, if you present yourself as a professional. Put in the work on the projects and do your research. Regardless of if you wear a dress, make-up, or have tattoos and piercings, the way you project yourself and your work ethic is what really matters.

Oh sure! You can really be yourself in this field. I’m a girly girl. I wore abayas most of the time and I work in this field normally. No issues what you wear and what your style is. And also engineering is a field that fits every kind of person. In an engineering college you can meet people of all interests. Musicians, social workers, actors, artists, fashion models – anyone can be an engineer. No worries just cheer and welcome to the engineering world.

This feels so much like me. I've been an engineer by profession for 30 years, but an artist by choice. I draw, paint, decorate my house with art and craft, I bake, I make chocolates, I sew, I make soaps, I cook, I go to the gym, I make flowers, I wear skirts, I wear ethnic and formal clothes. So you can always be different by profession and different by hobbies. So, it’s a perfect balance. Engineering helps you to understand the dynamics of good swimming, the right way of cooking, etc. It is all some form of engineering that you use in your day to day life. Engineering helps you to clear your concepts and apply the concepts in every stream of life. Go with the flow of your mind and you will never regret your choices.