Is engineering really as tough for women as I've read?

Yes. Sadly, due to chauvinism, engineering is extremely tough for women. I joined another organization, the Society of Women Engineers to alleviate some of the stress. Here is a part of my story that I posted for that organization.

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Hello.

I recently received a passive-aggressive remark about my participation in the Society of Women Engineers from a man who also works in the field of manufacturing.

The comment forced me to ponder the following question: 
Why does SWE exist?

... and then... as the old saying goes, it all came out in the wash - figuratively and emotionally.

There I was, some time ago, as I presented a new project to a manager. It wasn’t common to investigate the root cause of an issue to the point of using hypothesis testing in the facility.  However, being a Certified Six Sigma Green Belt, it was in my nature to do so. However, instead of admiring the creativity, the manager paced backward and forward, turned red in the face, and told me that he was “warning (me) against this, as upper management would not like such a scientific approach”.

Although I was shocked and I thought that he overreacted, I accepted it. Nonetheless, a few weeks later, I found the manager at his desk with a male employee - who had no degrees and less experience - coaching him in hypothesis testing so that he could present a scientific project to the board before I did. He even boldly asked if I would help the employee in this task while acting as if it wasn’t my idea in the beginning - an idea that I was forced to abandon at his persuasion. Also, the manager admitted that he never finished his certification and this was likely the root of his behavior.

I have three degrees, I am a member of the International High IQ Society, I was a Summa Cum Laude college graduate, University of Michigan Distinguished Scholar, and a high school valedictorian who finished high school a year early. 

While I am not the smartest person in every room, I have a respectable amount of intelligence. Yet, I find myself having to pretend to know nothing in order to be treated well by male managers. The moment that I participate in a scientific discussion about chemical processes, there is always a passive-aggressive punishment awaiting me. Sometimes, I am reprimanded after participating confidently in a meeting with experts for something as innocuous as sending too many e-mails. I often find myself reduced to tears because, while everyone else thinks that the wickedness that explodes from the male manager’s larynx is about too many e-mails, I know that there’s more to the story. He is trying to silence me to protect his ego. He believes that a smart woman and a smart man cannot create together because he must show his dominance and allow it to transpire in the suppressed ingenuity of every scene of the workplace cinema. I believe that this is the story of every woman.

So...

There, she sits - awaiting her turn that will never come, in silence. She is traditional. She believes in gender roles. She will let the man enter the room first because she respects him. She doesn’t want to replace him. She doesn’t want to outshine him...

She just wants to exist.

This is the reason that organizations, such as SWE, are imperative to the development of young women in science.

It's not about staying strong (or show of strength) in a tough work environment but about relationships and cooperation. Being in engineering or a STEM field is no less competitive, no less tough than being in banking, sales, marketing, or any other industry. Certain fields have a reputation of having a "tough environment" because it is dominated by men. However, it does not have to be. Staying strong to face this challenge means asking for help, being a team player, collaborating with others, and staying focused on your mission. Asking for help/advice goes a long way. Good luck!

I think it is all about the individual and how you respond to situations. If you stick to the facts and integrity, then the rest will fall by the wayside. Some environments are challenging, but it is like that in every field. Every field has its challenges, but as a woman in engineering, you just have to have confidence in yourself and others will have confidence in you too!

From time to time, we all experience tough situations at work. Sometimes we have an important project deadline that we need to meet or a big presentation coming up. For these, it is important to plan out way ahead of time to meet our goals – last minute execution never works. But other times at work, we face tough situations that seem to be directed at us personally for whatever reason. To handle these unfortunate situations, it is important to anticipate or role play beforehand what might happen and how we might respond. Will you get talked over at an important meeting? Will you be overlooked for a leadership role? For these, and other situations, imagine how you will respond and what is the outcome that you desire. Mentally practice how to get there so you are ready. Sometimes the situation arises unexpectedly and there is not enough time to respond in an optimal manner. In that case, it is better to reflect and perhaps correct the situation at a later time. Finally, it is critical to have a senior mentor that can guide you through the environment or workplace culture so you have a sense of what is normal and what is not.

A work environment can be tough for a number of different reasons. If you feel you do not fit in, or are somehow viewed differently, this can feel difficult. I grew up a tomboy and was always around mostly, if not all, boys, so it did not feel different to me to be in a class with all boys. I had already learned that if you are true to yourself, and do your best, it goes a long way. I was never told not to do engineering, so I just went for it.

In my experience, women are still clearly the minority in engineering. I know that I have been discriminated against and have been treated differently. But the vast majority of the time, as long as you are getting your work done and are a good team player, you are simply another member on the team. If you are being put down or otherwise left out from a work perspective, then you are not around quality people and you can either find another department to work in, or even find another job. I have experienced these low-quality, low-character people. I have found that they tend to move on in not too long a period of time. I do believe women get judged harsher by some men, but you cannot control that, so just do your best and rise above. I believe what has kept me going strong is that I do believe in myself, know I do a good job, and enjoy what I do. It can be hard, and it does feel lonely. So I have found other avenues outside of work to help keep me feeling good about myself during the tough times. In most work environments there will be people working there that are not engineers. I find their different outlook refreshing and a good escape when needed.

I guess my bottom line is that I keep my chin up and rise above all the immaturity that can go on; I don’t participate and move past it as soon as I can. I do learn from it, but do not let it dictate my actions, behaviors or thoughts.

I have experienced what you are describing, but it has gotten better and better over the years. I’ve been working for 32 years and the progress has been amazing.

Generally I feel if you choose a company with strong values and ethics, you will have a good experience.

You can strongly influence how you interact with others. I found that my direct style helped a lot. I also don’t hesitate to have a tough conversation if someone is being disrespectful. It’s helpful to think about what might drive their behavior. I try to assume good intent.

If you love STEM and want to work in a related field, you will leverage your intellectual and emotional IQ to manage situations!

Playing sports while growing up helped me to become the strong woman I am today. I played many “male dominated” sports, that helped me adjust to the environment of working in a male dominated field. If you don’t play sports, that’s ok too. I think it is important to remember not to take criticism on a project personally. Stick to the facts of the project.

I have not faced any tough working environment related to gender in my career so far. I think the situation is improving rapidly as more and more women enter the workforce and become engineers. Society is changing. When it comes to you to grow up and become an engineer, I think we may achieve much better gender balance and there may not be any tough working environments that you need to worry about.

I’ve been lucky not to experience much in the way of overt discrimination, but I think this is partly because I have prioritized choosing workplaces that have a supportive culture for women. I transferred to a different department at the same university early in my PhD program for this reason. The biggest issues I have to deal with are systemic ones, where women are expected to “do more with less” – we have less time at home (even if you have a supportive partner who is committed to gender equality, there are some things that may be lopsided if you are in a heterosexual relationship), but we are often held to higher standards at work to get the same recognition as our male colleagues. There may also be times when you are expected to perform tasks that are less technical (like taking notes at a meeting, or organizing an event), even though the men around you are not.

When that happens, push back! Try something like “I actually took notes at our last meeting. Maybe Joe would like to give it a try this time.” Find supportive female mentors at more senior levels and talk to them about issues you are facing. If someone makes an inappropriate joke or comment, call them on it in an assertive, non-hostile way. If you have a partner, have frequent discussions with one another to ensure you’re both feeling respected and sharing the workload at home. Above all, find a squad – other women at your same career level that you can get together with on a regular basis to share your struggles and triumphs.

With apologies to my colleagues in material sciences, let’s talk a little about what tough and strong means. Practically speaking, the hardest material is diamond. It’s incredibly strong, but what else do we know about diamonds? VERY expensive. And we know that it possible to cleave, or even to shatter a diamond with enough force. In the same way, it’s possible to make yourself very hard, impervious to criticism, to fear, but that too truly comes at great cost. What would you have to give up in order to make yourself virtually impenetrable? Personal relationships? Interest? Caring for the world around you? Maybe that’s not the way to be strong.

If you look at the behavior of materials under stress, metals especially, you find that people like to differentiate between brittle and ductile modes of failure. Independent of stress at failure, materials will tend to fail in one of these ways. Brittle failure is a sudden, catastrophic loss of integrity of the material. The time it takes from the onset of failure to the complete loss of integrity is quite short.

Conversely, a ductile failure tends to be a little more graceful. There is a yielding that happens, and then the material gradually gives way under sustained loading. The property of the material that gives it this quality is known as fracture toughness. Hmm, we were talking about toughness and strength, but it seems maybe toughness is even more important.

What does tough mean? Well, being durable is one aspect, how much can you take? But our environment can be relentless. And none of us can withstand a withering, hostile environment forever. We also need to exhibit resilience, the ability to come back, refreshed, renewed. Doing that demands some sort of support system. It can be some close friends at your workplace, maybe family or school friends. It also helps to have outside interests to focus your attention on while you gather yourself for returning to the stressful environment.

The other aspect to address is to improve your resistance. This doesn’t mean that you have to stand up to everyone, all the time. But you do need to stand up for those things that are important to you. Testing yourself by asserting sometimes gives you the confidence that you can when you need to. In my experience, people in industry may push on you a little when you’re new, just to see if you have the ability to stand up for yourself. So don’t be afraid to flex those muscles.

I have been an engineer for about 15 years now. It can be intimidating to be surrounded by men. My best advice to first believe in yourself and that you can be as good, if not better than the guys. As a matter of fact, studies show that women are better at managing multiple projects which is an advantage in a competitive world. Also, don't be afraid to negotiate a good salary or ask for a raise. A lot of women do not negotiate and they are losing out. Over time, I have grown more confident in who I am and what I am capable of. Good luck!

I wanted to respond to this question as I wouldn’t want anyone to be put off from a career in engineering because they’ve heard it’s a tough environment. All work environments can have their challenges, working with different people and negotiating different personalities can always be tricky, not just in a male dominated environment.

I’ve been the only female student in my whole college and found the occasional person who didn’t think I should be there, but I’ve always just worked hard and kept going. The majority of people are very supportive.

I’ve worked in a mechanical engineering firm for nearly 15 years now, working my way up from a placement student to now being general manager of my division. I was the first female engineer to have been employed there and there have been some times when I have to prove my worth more than my male colleagues, whether that be to other members of staff or in meeting with clients, but on the majority of days it’s no issue at all. I’ve found that having confidence in your own abilities is really important, but never be afraid to ask for help. I can only speak for the UK market, but it is not a bad environment on the whole, I love going to work everyday.

Now I’m in a position to be looking at new employees and speaking to other employers, people are well aware of the positives having female engineers as part of the team, so I believe it’s a great time to get into engineering and as it’s such a diverse field there’s no shortage of new opportunities.

The environment is always changing for the better. I would say that most people who come in as mentors will talk about how hard things were and how hard their journey was. BUT now we have many male students and men in our workplaces who come in and stand with me when there is a tough situation. The issue is more about not having a critical mass of support. Look for the US citizen in an IT workplace or an immigrant in a domestic-born student environment. The issue of making people belong is universal. And to all the folks who mentor, lets talk about the present time and the joy of what we do rather than the admittedly negative past we may have surmounted.

I have also heard that engineering is a tough environment. There are definitely many times when I am still the only woman in the room. That being said, I have found nothing but encouragement from my co-workers and managers throughout my almost 30 year career. In my experience the willingness to work hard and approach challenges with solutions has more impact than gender.

The reason I stay in an engineering field is because of the impact. As an engineer, I have the opportunity to solve real-world problems that affect people. I personally work in a field that enables the world to have reliable electricity and enables us to shift to renewable energy. This challenge and so many others that have a material impact on our daily lives and our world require engineers to solve. I’m proud to be one of them.

I've never found the engineering field to be bad or discouraging at all for women. Perhaps I've been very lucky, but I've managed to hold my head high, learned how to project my voice in a crowd of hundreds, and work with all kinds of people, from young to old, white to black and all the beautiful shades in between, men, women, and all the amazing variations that exist in our human population.

When I was growing up, it never occurred to me that engineers couldn't be women. I don't know why. I never associated being an engineer with being a man. I just figured that if I wanted to be an engineer, I had to be smart, good at math and science, and great at observation and problem-solving. And I was, and so engineer I would be. When the classes, and later on the companies I worked for were mostly men, I just figured that these people (not men necessarily, just people in general) were like me: smart, good at math and science, great at observation and problem-solving. Gender still did not play a role in whether or not I could be an engineer. The greatest obstacle to my advancement in my engineering career and journey has always been my own timid and meek personality. That's not because I'm female. It's something more of myself and I'm still learning how to grow and develop the stronger part of my personality and my voice. I'm definitely learning. That desire to learn is what keeps me going. That want to grow as a person and not just as an engineer is what drives me forward. And now, having my own young daughter making experiments in our kitchen and backyard is the strongest motivator I have yet. That's not because she's a girl. That's because she's amazing. I'm doing my best to show her the world without filters and categories because I don't want her to put herself in one and limit herself.

With anything worth doing in life, there will be hardships and tough times. Focus on the goal. Keep your eye on the prize. See yourself where you want to be and you will get there.

Is it as tough/bad for women as you’ve read? I don’t believe it is anymore. I’ve been in the engineering field since the mid-90s and have certainly seen a change in how many women are now in the department versus years ago. In some instances, women now outnumber men in the department (depending on the company and how the department is organized). I remember walking into one of my first engineering classes and being the only female in a room of 20+ young men. It was a little daunting then, but working with men, going to school with young men, collaborating with men, presenting and sharing work-related topics with men is very similar to working with friends.

Sure, as you finish college and enter your first professional (engineering) role, you will have to “prove yourself” per se – but I don’t believe it is as gender-based as it used to be. Many professional engineering men respect and look forward to hearing from their female counterparts simply because many organizations are not so much focused on your gender as they are your knowledge and willingness to share/learn/complete tasks. I believe there are still some “old-school” engineers in the workforce (both men and women) who will not be as accepting or welcoming of new engineers, but I don’t believe that is based on gender and more on a new engineer showing a skillset that benefits the organization.

I remember thinking (as I entered that first engineering class in college), “uh-oh, am I in the right field?” and that quickly clarified itself with how much I enjoyed the topics, learning and collaborating in work teams. In no time at all, I found I didn’t view my teammates as male or female, but more as equals in school and the workplace. I believe many male engineers view women engineers the same way, once they know we also bring something to the table.

I have seen some women engineers treated with less respect in the workplace, but I don’t think it was due to their gender, but more so due to, maybe, a lack of motivation, inexperience, or an unwillingness to learn and grow into their role, but I also believe the same happens for male engineers who lack work skills.

I did work for a company where I was the only female engineer, but I don’t remember feeling “isolated” or “alone” in my work journey given I always had a solid group of women engineers from school and a previous workplace that I remained close and in contact with and bounced ideas off on top of offering a skillset the company needed. It’s like any new place (school, work, family, etc.) – if you’re willing to contribute to the good of the organization (whatever it may be), you’ll find a team of “friends” who are willing to help you succeed (no matter your gender).

I would focus more on learning your area of expertise, researching your company so you know as much as you can about the business itself, and fine-tuning work habits to be the best engineer/employee possible. Promotions, quality projects and friendships are sure to follow! Good luck and always know you have a whole family of engineers supporting you, always!

I think there are tough work environments in any job field that you go into, whether it be engineering, nursing, directing movies, or waiting tables. There are tough environments wherever you go. The key is your love for what you are doing and your drive to do what you are doing to get you through those tough times. I think people tend to think that engineering is a challenging work environment for women because men tend to outnumber the amount of women in the profession.

When I was going to school there were only three girls in my engineering classes (including myself). While I was attending school and getting ready to graduate college there was a huge push for female engineers to join the workforce. I knew that I would be one of the few females applying for jobs at the time. This was never a worry for me. Heck, I grew up with three little brothers so hanging out with the boys just came naturally to me. I wanted to be an engineer. I loved math and science. I loved creating and building new ideas and new things, overcoming challenges, and solving problems. I knew that engineering was the career path for me.

Where I work I am the only female engineer in my office. There are other female engineers in the department but I am the only one in this location. When I first started working in construction, it was difficult; I had some people that would ignore me or pass me over in meetings because I was the “girl” in the room. But I made myself be heard. I made myself the person that people would go to in order to solve problems or to get things approved through and this made them talk to me and start conversations and build relationships. Pretty soon I was the one that they were asking for and the one that they were requesting because they knew how I could get things accomplished in a timely manner. I worked hard to build working relationships with the people I worked with so we could accomplish tasks together and overcome any challenges that came our way.

Staying strong in the face of challenges means a lot of things. It means standing up for yourself and believing in yourself and your abilities. Finding your voice and letting it be heard. It means helping others and building a team and working relationships so you can accomplish greater tasks. And it means cheering others on. Always remember how people treat you is usually a reflection of themselves in some manner, and how you treat others is a reflection of yourself.

I'd have to say engineering and STEM fields are inherently challenging for both men and women. I understand that you may not feel completely at ease at first, especially if you are the only or one of the few women in the room (trust me, I've been there). But don't let that discourage you. You will be surprised at how many great male and female classmates, coworkers and mentors you will meet during your STEM career. Yes, there will the odd obnoxious person who think they're better than everyone and you as a woman aren't cut out for this field. But I've found that to be the exception, not the rule. Work hard, stay excited about your coursework and whatever you do, don't feel like you have to change for your personality to fit any stereotype. You are awesome and you should absolutely own that because believe me, everyone else is :)

Best wishes,
An Electrical Engineer who has been the only woman in the room way too many times :D

Before beginning my career as an engineer I was aware that most engineering work cultures would be very different from the culture of my social circle. What encouraged me to go into engineering was my understanding that the decisions that engineers make when designing products and services impacts the way our world works, and I wanted a say in how our world works. This great responsibility gives me great respect for the engineers that I work with, especially when they take safety and fairness as seriously as I do. While I have faced difficult social and cultural situations at work being the only woman in the room many times, I have been able to persevere by reminding myself how important this work is. One of the most difficult things that I have faced as an engineer is the lack of female senior level mentorship available - because so many women leave engineering early in their careers due to the culture, there are fewer experienced women in engineering than there are new female engineers. I stay motivated to remain in the field by reminding myself that there are young women pursuing engineering today that I will get to meet when I am late in my career, and I want to be there for them in the way that I wish there were more experienced women there for me today.