How can I overcome self-doubt during school?

I’ll start by saying:

1. Self-doubt is common even among accomplished professionals and academicians so much that it is quite likely that some of your peers are also struggling with self-doubt but are not open to talk about it.
2. I want to also emphasize that a lack of confidence does not equal a lack of ability, otherwise many accomplished scientists and engineers would never have pursued careers in these academic areas. So, self-doubt is simply not an accurate gauge of whether you will be able to “cut it” as an engineer or not. Navigating self-doubt and developing winning strategies can push you forward to accomplishing your dreams.
3. If you are a minority, self-doubt might be a result of internalizing negative stereotypes. When your peers treat you as if you do not belong, it can be hard not to internalize their incorrect assessment. For example, you might have heard people say girls do not like mathematics or girls cannot do mathematics. Internalizing such generalized and unfounded statements might create self-doubt and create a mental block barring you from pursuing something you really like.

Self-doubt is a much studied phenomena and you will find aspects of it studied in social sciences under “imposter syndrome phenomena”. The American Psychological Association Dictionary defines the “imposter phenomenon” as:
a situation in which highly accomplished, successful individuals paradoxically believe they are frauds who ultimately will fail and be unmasked as incompetent.
In other words, someone with imposter syndrome will feel like a failure despite all evidence to the contrary.

Self-doubt is something that I have dealt with through my days as a student and also in my career. One thing that I have done is to have a quote that I can fall back on when I start doubting, e.g., “I can do all things”. I have this quote on my dresser and always have it on the corner of my whiteboard when in the office. I have also learnt not to allow self-doubt to put me down by taking time to understand myself and instances when that critical inner voice starts speaking things that make me doubt. Looking back, I see most moments or seasons of self doubt crept in whenever I was starting something new or taking up a bigger challenge.

In new or higher risk-taking environments, one is exposed to a learning curve yet expected to maintain good performance. It is possible to become discouraged by repeated failures when encountering new challenges, and to develop fear thinking that you have hit an insurmountable wall. What has helped me in the past to deal with self-doubt included learning how to chip away at challenges one problem at a time, breaking down tasks to simpler formats, asking for help if I need extra lessons or tutoring services, seeking out peers that I can study with or practice with, working with career coaches and mentors, and reading autobiographies of accomplished professionals and seeing how they overcame doubt and fear.

Knowing triggers of self-doubt can also empower one to stop negative thoughts before they take root and disable your goals. Other triggers of self-doubt might be a skewed view of one’s successes and shortcomings, concern about looking foolish or vulnerable in front of peers, and an unhealthy comparison of self to peers. Self-doubt can be crippling if not dealt with, making it difficult for you to accept positive feedback, and creating in you anxiety about making mistakes. It can sap your motivation and energy, leading you to work less effectively and, in turn, to doubt yourself even more.

Over the course of time, through lived experience, leadership training and exchanges, and vast reading and analysis of others’ experiences, I have collected some Strategies for Dealing with Self-Doubt. Self-doubt never entirely goes away, but it is absolutely possible to build up confidence naturally through experience or through deliberate effort. Strategies that could help include:

a) Find community. Do not remain isolated but in every step of your progress in academics and later in your career, seek to establish a support network of peers and mentors. Talk through your feelings with people you trust and who can relate with your situation. Find a mentor who can help give perspective on your situation and keep you grounded. If you are an underrepresented minority—find peers who can counteract the negative bias you receive.

b) Collaborate and work closely with others. This allows you to see your contributions more clearly.

c) Separate fact and feeling. Failure is an integral part of meaningful learning. The fact is you might fail a math task or quiz (fact) but that does not mean you are a failure (feeling at a moment of failing a task). Develop a healthy way of responding to mistakes.

d) Know yourself, your strengths and your weaknesses. Celebrate and leverage your strengths and given opportunities, work to improve your weaknesses either through practice of new skills or learning to ask for help. This might require humility but there is no better way to learn than to ask someone for help. Nobody is an expert on every topic, and be sure to acknowledge those who know more than you do.

e) Evaluate feedback appropriately. Welcome positive feedback and grow and learn not to be crushed by negative feedback.

f) Value your own opinion. Identify success on your own terms. Not every accomplishment you achieve will receive acclaim in the public domain. When you do a good job, brag about it or pat yourself on the back.

Self-doubt is something every one of us has to deal with through our lives, in school, in college, at work, at home, etc. What is important is how you learn to deal with it and use it in a positive way. There are many options to work through:

• By challenging the thing you are doubting – is it real?
• Using the inner critic to help you get better rather than hold you back
• Asking the questions to yourself so that you won't have regrets that you did not try something
• Working with a support team – folks who can you talk you through it, folks who can help you find ways to be successful
• Using any failures as an opportunity to learn – we all learn from every experience.

In school, I loved math but was decent at math from a grade perspective – not a straight 100% but high 80s to low 90s. I used to be frustrated with myself since I loved the subject and really wanted to do well in it, in my mind the 100%. And then I got to seventh grade. My teacher turned out to be the best! She talked to me about my questions, coached to help me to find those little ways to self improve/correct and remove my doubts, so I hit the 100% from that point on!

We all have doubts, but what sets us apart is how we handle them. If you're struggling with math, science, physics, calculus, etc, how do you handle that? Do you silently become your own worst critic and beat up on yourself? Or, do you reach out to your teacher, go to extra tutoring sessions, create a study group with friends and classmates? Do you work through the challenges that are presented to you so that you become better at it?

I am a consulting Mechanical Engineer and I rarely use complex math, calculus, differential equations, whatever it is. But what I do every day is solve problems and work through issues with my clients. I get paid to help people figure out a tough issue and I have used this skill over and over again. That's what being an engineer is really about and that's why women make such great engineers – we are constantly problem solving!!

It is very natural to doubt yourself. Engineering is not about math alone. It has many interesting subjects such as robotics, artificial intelligence, machine learning, computers, telecommunication, electronics, and so on. Maths is only one of the many subjects which is taught in the first few years of engineering. Then you get into specialization as per the subjects mentioned above. So you don't really have to study math all through engineering or excel in math if it does not suit you. I wasn't the best in math either. Self-doubt is perennial – it's at every stage when we are doing something new or different, but it's not worth it. Self-doubt is like a demon in your mind. Remove the demon by saying “I can do it, I will do it.”

Remember “I can't” is made of “I can.” “Impossible” contains “possible.” So go for it and don't look back. Some decisions are right, some are wrong. If the majority are right, you are on the right track.

Self-confidence comes from the courage and bravery you have within yourself. They are not always easy traits to pull up, especially when venturing into the unknown. You can have mantras, “I can do this” or “where there is a will there is a way”, but in the end I believe it is the people you surround yourself with that also help to be your cheerleader.

Friends can either encourage or discourage. Recognize when that friend is just going along with your day’s mantra. If your self-talk, is “I can’t” and your friend is going along with it, that only re-enforces your self-doubt. Surround yourself with individuals who speak to the positive, or at least know who those individuals are and reach out to them when self-doubt is overwhelming.

I went a non-traditional route to engineering, via the military. My initial enlistment was 5 years due to the extra training I had to go through. I remember quite often sitting in the classes and telling the instructor that I just don’t get this. Keep in mind they consolidated training down to 1 year, everything compressed and advanced. The instructors often reminded me that my ASVAB scores said otherwise, that I did have an aptitude. Unlike college, a military instructor can give you mandatory study until you do get the concept. That was a great incentive to open my mind and have the courage to stop saying “I can’t”.

Finally, after a year of training and specialization on specific equipment, I proudly walked into my first duty station ready to man my post. On my first shift I said, so where is my system? The chief turned around and looked at me and said, “oh no honey, you are responsible for the upkeep, maintenance and installation of every piece of equipment in this operations center.” My most brave and courageous moment was when an Air to Ground communication system failed during a critical mission. The repair that evening led me to a place in my life where I would never question my abilities and I would strive toward the next opportunity with courage and bravery. Even failures over the years were life lessons.

So keep your head up, your eyes forward, pursue your ultimate goals with courage and bravery. Leave self-doubt sitting in the corner.

In my opinion, if you’re not failing or struggling, you’re not pushing yourself. It’s OK to have doubts, but push on and never give up. It’s this kind of attitude that will see you through. Also, don’t hesitate to ask for extra help. Sometimes you have to swallow your pride and just ask. The 1-on-1 time you’ll receive will be very much worth it.

One of the things I tell students and myself is to not self-reject. I did have doubts in certain classes, especially those that were hard for me like math. There will be difficult subjects, concepts, and courses in school. The key is to NOT define your abilities based on those difficulties and challenges. Here are a few tips that helped me along the way:

• Start by speaking truth to the situation. As an example: This is hard and I need help OR I need more time OR I need this explained in a different way. Have the courage to seek help from your teacher or outside mentor.
• Find your tribe (friend, teacher, mentor) and share how you feel. They are there to support and encourage you. Our tribes will be able to see the value and uniqueness in us that we cannot see, especially when we struggle.
• Do not compare yourself to others. We all have different challenges. Practice keeping a list of your strengths and wins for those times when you need reminding just how awesome you are.
• Lastly, acknowledge that you have excelled in other areas and this struggle does not define who you will become.

Self-doubt is nothing new. Many people face this even when they’re sure of the career path they want to go into. I myself faced doubt every homework assignment and test I had to do in Engineering school. It always felt like there was a little blob sitting on my shoulder questioning why I continue to put myself through the stress of getting an engineering degree. But what helped was talking to my peers around me asking if they had the same thoughts. Some more so than others would validate my feelings and thoughts because it’s normal.

Think about when you started something new. Some things came more naturally to you and others required a lot of time and effort to make it seem natural. Not everyone can be Kristi Yamaguchi who has natural talent. Often times we’re like Ludwig Van Beethoven who needed to work hard everyday and through self-doubt to become successful.

Ways to turn it around are reminding yourself of all of your accomplishments, reminding yourself it’s not always going to be easy, and that challenging yourself with difficult tasks is the only way you’ll be able to improve.

It sounds like you have a little bit of imposter syndrome. This is perfectly normal to have. I had it while I was in engineering school and even still have it when I'm amongst senior engineers and executives. Just remember you deserve to belong in the room just like everyone else. You didn't land there by chance, but by purpose. Just remember your training. You've passed the classes and the prerequisites, you wouldn't have made it this far if it wasn't meant to be.

Overcoming doubt can weigh heavily on someone relative to decision-making which can shape your career. As a junior in high school, I was really a liberal arts person and had no chemistry, calculus, or physics. However, on career day, a professor from the University of Kentucky made a presentation on engineering. It was so exciting that I went to my math teacher noting that I no longer wanted to be an interior designer or interpreter, but rather a civil engineer. I was told I wasn’t smart enough. My high school counselor told me I didn’t have the aptitude to be an engineer. It was quite depressing and I immediately began to doubt my abilities even though I was a straight A student.

I went home to my mom and told her what I wanted to do and what I had been told. As a single parent due to my dad’s death when I was only 14 months old, and a high school teacher, she sat me down and told me that I can do anything if I put my mind to it and to let no one tell me I couldn’t do something. I took that to heart and have lived with that message every time I feel any doubt about doing something.

The same occurred when I ran for ASCE National President. Having lost the first time, I at first doubted whether I should run again as there had never been a woman president. But with encouragement from my fellow engineers and the message my mom had told me so long ago, I ran again and won, breaking that barrier down for other women with ASCE now having five other women in addition to me serving as ASCE National President. When in doubt, just remember, you can do anything!

First, accept that everyone doubts themselves. I've worked directly with CEOs of tech startups that were doing well, and they always doubted themselves.

Second, learn to study smarter, not harder. Cal Newport, computer science professor at Georgetown University, has excellent tips on how to study smarter in the book How To Become a Straight-A Student.

Third, don't let other people's opinions distract you. Some time ago I wrote about my experiences as I prepared to go to university to study Electrical Engineering and heard many times, "Oh, but that’s not a profession for girls!” Had I paid attention to the critics, I would not be working in a profession I love.

Did this happen to me in school? YES! How did I stop doubting myself or turn it around (when I do doubt myself)? ONE STEP at a time, take it slower or just take a little break (go for a run, clear your head, watch a movie, take a nap – whatever helps you take your mind off the stressor and allows you to re-focus) – just don’t quit!

Self-doubt is somewhat “normal” for most. Not everyone knows how to do everything, you understand things others don’t and vice versa. The only question is, did I quit trying? If you don’t quit, you’re going to make it! I received the first “F” in my life in Engineering School…oh the shock! But instead of quitting, I took the class again with another instructor and received a “B” the second time around. Embarrassing to get an “F” on a permanent record? You bet it was! Learn to give yourself a break. I graduated with honors (despite one failed class). I also learned some things you learn quickly and other things take a bit longer – both are acceptable ways of learning (or accomplishing a goal)…just don’t quit!

It's totally normal to feel unsure of yourself occasionally. This is what we call imposter syndrome. Trust me, everyone goes through it, regardless of gender or age. The good news is that moments of uncertainty can be overcome. The key thing is to remember that you have probably already accomplished a number of things that you didn't think possible. Hold on to that knowledge whenever you feel less confident about something and know that you ARE capable.

One thing that I personally use to recenter myself is the irrefutable fact that anyone can learn anything! Sure, some things are more difficult than others or some people might pick up a topic quicker than others but there is nothing you can't learn and master by putting in the appropriate time and effort. I promise you, this works! I was ready to quit my first semester of Electrical Engineering undergrad because I felt I wasn't cut out for it. The advice that my favorite high school teacher gave me was, get through the coursework one day at a time. Focus on getting through your quiz or test and don't spend energy worrying about if you'll ever graduate or not. And guess what, I've used this mindset to complete two Masters degrees.

Remember, if you are in a program / college / job , you are there because you are qualified and don't let anyone tell you otherwise!

When I was in studying mechanical engineering in college, I remember doubting if I could make it through the class every time they went over the syllabus at the start of a semester. Honestly, I still have that voice in the back of my head every time I take a new job.

One thing that helps me is thinking back on everything I have accomplished so far. How did you do in the class that was the pre-requisite to the current class you are doubting yourself in? If you did well, chances are you will do well in this class since each class builds upon the foundation of the last class. If you struggled in the last class, look back at what you struggled with and see where you can get help to strengthen your foundation.

Another thing to remember is you are not in this alone. You can always ask for help from peers, TAs or your professors/ teachers. Reach out whenever you are stuck or need a deeper understanding of a subject. In a job, you are encouraged to use all the resources available to you whether it is taking a training class to gain more knowledge, learning from a peer, or doing research on a subject. I have built excel vba code from piecing together code I have found on google to accomplish what I needed. I also always reach out to a peer who may have more knowledge on a subject before diving into solving a problem alone. There is no need to reinvent a solution if someone has already come up with a better way to do something.

Also, speak up if you really do have doubts, chances are someone will help you understand why you should not have those doubts. I have had a bunch of close friends and mentors who have done this for me over the years.

It may be really hard to completely ignore the doubts that come up but take the time to think about how far you have come so far and what you have accomplished. That might make it a little easier to overcome the next challenge.

This is an issue many people face, and it seems to be particularly prevalent among girls and women, even the most accomplished among us. It even has a name - it is sometimes called the "Imposter Syndrome" in which even though we may be at the top of our field, we still worry that we are somehow not really deserving of the success we have and that "they" will find out the truth about us and it will all come down around our ears.

So, what is the solution? First, look around you and notice how you respond to questions or describe your project. Do you begin with a preamble like "I may be wrong but ..." or "This is probably not very good, but ..." It is what I call a "preemptive put down". You lack confidence and so you tell the world all the things that are wrong with what you do or think before someone else can do it. Now look at those who seem the most successful – they never do that. The solution: stop doing that. Before you start telling people that you, your solution, your project are no good, just start by describing all the good points. Suddenly you are more confident and perceived as being better, one of the people who know what is going on.

It took me a long time to understand that but whenever I find myself backtracking, I remind myself that I really do know what I am doing and that the reason I have been so successful in my field is because I am smart and hardworking (and I have stopped telling other people I'm not!)

Yes, I have experienced a level of doubting my abilities while I was in college and even beginning my first engineering job. I even had a sense of this while I was excelling in my career when I would question whether the promotions and opportunities were because of a mistake or I’d start believing there was a more qualified candidate to receive the opportunity. This is known as “Imposter Syndrome”. What has helped me start steering away from the doubt and start having more confidence in myself and abilities include:

• Having mentors/family who support your goals. Being able to sit down with them to discuss your path forward and come up with a plan to better help yourself feel prepared. This will help to diminish the feelings of doubt.
• Taking ownership of your school work/opportunities. This means, taking the time to put 100% of your effort towards a goal whether it be passing your AP exams or taking the initiative to ask for help when you’re struggling. Own your work and the amount of effort you put towards it every single day.
• Knowing it is OK to fail and being proactive when you do. Because in a moment of failure, you really have two options: 1) Doubt your abilities, or 2) tell yourself that you’re going to get right back up and try again.

And if there’s one thing I can add is that when you find what you are truly passionate about, always keep working towards your goals.